Non-custodial parents (most often divorced fathers) commonly complain that the system is stacked against them, that they have "no rights."  And I'm not going to pretend that they have no reason to complain.

    Relatively recently several states, including Tennessee, have enacted legislation to set out certain minimal rights of all non-custodial parents with regard to their children.  For non-custodial parents who want to at least share equally in all parenting and parenting decisions, the minimal rights set out in the statute do not go nearly far enough, but they do represent an improvement.

    The statute in Tennessee is TCA 36-6-110.  Under the statute, unless the court finds that denying them would be in the best interests of the child, a whenever a custody or visitation case is before a court, the court is to include language in its Order on the following on each of the following:

    (1) Phone Calls: require the custodial parent to let the non-custodial parent to talk with the child by phone at least   twice a week without interruption and at reasonable times and for reasonable durations;
    (2) Mail: prohibit the custodial parent or guardian from opening or censoring any mail from the non-custodial parent to the child;
    (3) Medical Notice: the right to receive notice and relevant information as soon as practicable but within twenty-four (24) hours of any event of hospitalization, major illness or death of the child;
    (4) Medical Records: the right to get copies of the child's medical records directly from the child's doctor or other health care provider, if the request is made in writing  and duplication costs are paid;
    (5) School Records: the right to get the child's school records directly from the school after making written request and paying reasonable costs of duplication; the covered school records include report cards, attendance records, names of teachers, class schedules, standardized test scores and any other records customarily made available to parents; and
    (6) Remarks: the right to be free from unwarranted derogatory remarks by the custodial parent or guardian in the presence of the child.

    The minimal rights listed above, however, only exist if they are set out in the Order.  In other words, if the Court has never ordered these things, perhaps because the case was last in court before the statute took effect in 1998, the non-custodial parent does not have them.  The non-custodial parent can always return to court to get them, but just because the statute is now the law in Tennessee does NOT mean that those rights have been created for all non-custodial parents who have not gone to court to have them included in a a court Order.
 
  Of course, the mere fact that courts are to supposed do this when custody or visitation issues (including in the divorce) are before them, does not mean that it always happens.  Unfortunately often this is because attorneys fail to press the matter, or an attorney fails to include the language in the Order (generally the attorney on the winning side of a case drafts the Order for the judge to sign, and if the attorney fails to include something in the Order it may never get there).

    But most importantly, the list of minimal rights set out in the TCA 36-6-110 is just that -- a list of minimal rights and there is nothing preventing a non-custodial parent from asking for more.  If the request is reasonable, and is presented properly, and if the non-custodial parent appears reasonable, many judges will be happy to grant the request.  But requests made by non-custodial parents who seem unable to accept the fact that they do NOT have custody, or who appear to be trying to control or harass the other parent, or who come across as overly demanding will generally fail.  So will requests that seem unreasonable, even if the person making them appears reasonable.

    Very little is carved in stone in cases involving custody and visitation.  The key at all times is to come across as reasonable... and to honestly focus on what is best for the child, and not what is best for you.

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